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Brazil, for example, is a matriarchy and would never be considered Fatherland by it´s natives. We think of as stereotypically maternal: as providing for us, and caring for us. I still like to call America “my country”.
Is US motherland or fatherland? But I especially don’t want to use the term “homeland” because it’s a term I didn’t hear of until the 9/11 terrorists attack. Unlike Motherland, which was more common during the days of the USSR, Fatherland was more politicized during the days of the Russian empire, when the term Motherland was more neutral. The problem you are having with Motherland and Fatherland is no mystery to people who speak languages with feminine and masculine nouns. It has some religious connotations as well in Russian iconography.
The fact that it’s so complex, and many languages allow one to use fatherland or motherland, probably speaks to our complex relationships with our homelands (isn’t it just so much easier to use that word!). That really doesn't help much. Also, I think it is directly related to Patriarchies and Matriarchies. We need you to answer this question!
Motherland was defined as "the land of one's mother or parents," and fatherland as "the native land of one's fathers or ancestors." I don’t really want to use the terms “motherland” or “fatherland”. It's also more in use now in modern Russian politics. I always referred to the USA as my country or my native land. The same goes for Russia, Italy, Mexico, etc.